America

Ahh!  Some days I have these moments where I'm like, "Ahhh! I need something to write with because I'm having these thoughts!"  Like for the past 35 minutes I've had all these things I wanted to write about and muse over but I've had to wait til I could get home and to a computer.

I just saw the movie America. It's that documentary.  Maybe you've heard of it, maybe not.  Google it :P  Anyways, it talks about what the world might be like if America was not here and some of the "indictments" that people have against America.  It's very thought-provoking and, for me at least, evokes/invokes (not sure what the correct word here is) my patriotism and pride in the American idea.

I feel like in recent decades there has been a growing sentiment that highlights, exacerbates, and maybe even fabricates, all the negative things about America, til one starts to develop this negative idea and perspective of what America is.  It's true America as a country and as a people are not perfect and mistakes have been made.  However, I believe that America was created from good standards, even the right standards.  The movie argued for what some of those founding standards were and are.

I don't want to go into detail of what the movie talked about.  I'll let anyone who wants to go see it for themselves figure that out.  I just want to express my thoughts and feelings.  I think the idea of America is the right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.  People have the right to live free and pursue what makes them happy.  Infringing on someone else's rights to these things is wrong.  Of course getting down to the nitty gritty of what is infringing and what isn't gets messy.  But I believe there is a right and a wrong and learning what they are is important and standing up for them is what should be done.

See.  I told you.  Thought-provoking.  None of that was really talked about in the movie, it's just what my thoughts were as I watched it.

I think ultimately America is a good country and as a people we try to do right by ourselves and by others.  People aren't perfect and so we don't always succeed.  But the idea of America is that you try to do and uphold what's right.  I'd rather do what I can to inspire people to love their country and be better people and treat everyone on earth with dignity and fight for what is right.  I don't want to spread negativity and shame.

The rain in Spain

It's the weekend. Yay! And how about this rain we're getting? I have mixed feelings about it myself. I like the thunder and lightning and the rain falling, but I don't always like how wet and dirty it makes everything, or the cold. 

My shoulder still hurts. I no longer have it in a sling which is way nice for when I type and write. But at times like right now, I don't know what to do about it. I've taken the medicine and possibly still need to wait longer for it to kick in, but it's hurting. I want to go to sleep, but lying down makes the pain worse :( Our bodies are great until they start to fail us or fall apart. 

It's been a week now since I went camping and things are better emotionally with me, though I do still miss my friend. I suppose that will take more time. Just need to get back to homeostasis again I guess. 

Thanks to everyone who has left comments the last couple of weeks. I have read them. I appreciate your advice. And I'm glad you are reading the blog. 

Sunday night blues

I am feeling grief right now. I just had a great weekend camping with one of my friends. I don't know if I'll ever see her again now. That's why it's grief, not just sad, because of the feeling of loss. My heart is aching. 

Shoulder, TMNT, camping

To anyone who has ever had to work with the use of only one arm, I can empathize now.  Last Saturday morning I woke up with a major aching in my right shoulder.  Throughout the day I discovered certain movements brought sharp pain.  Every time I'd lay down to sleep I'd wake up in the middle of the night or early in the morning with the shoulder aching terribly and it didn't matter the position of how I slept.  So yesterday I went to the doctor and found out I have tendonitis.  He gave me some meds and a sling to put my arm in and now I have to do everything left-handed.  Working at both jobs has been interesting, but whatever it needs to heal I'll do.

I saw the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie last weekend.  I think if it hadn't been one of my favorite childhood TV shows I would've found it cheesy.  But I gave allowances because I'm sure if I were to watch the old TV show now I'd find it cheesy, too.   I was never upset about the casting of Megan Fox, but there was too much oogling and butt shots and innuendo because she was in it that I didn't like.  Mikey seemed a little more wannabe-gangster than goofball and I'm not sure how I feel about that.  The ending is funny when he serenades April O'Neill with the song Imagine Me and You while it is being played on the car stereo, knowing that the song was performed by the group The Turtles.  Not sure how many people will get that reference.

I'm supposed to go camping this weekend with a friend.  I'm nervous cuz some of her family will be there and I don't know any of them.  I'm afraid I'm going to feel left out.  I've had some prior experiences like this and I know that that feeling is painful, and hard for me to move past sometimes.  I just want to have fun.  I don't want to be dealing with strong negative emotions.  I'm trying to deal with the anxiety I'm feeling in the days leading up to the trip.  Blah.

It's August

I'm feeling down tonight. I know that word is very generic and vague but I don't know how to describe the way I'm feeling. It's familiar definitely. It causes sadness and hopelessness. On a scale of 1-10, 1 being way too happy and 10 the opposite and 3 or 4 is your typical good day that happens more than just occasionally, I'm approaching a 6 or 7. Slightly less than neutral now. I've spent some good quality time with friends today and I bet I needed it. Because even with that positive boost there is one person I've been thinking about who I miss and wish things were different. I've been able to go a good long while without feeling "down" as I put it, but I guess something is different lately and I miss certain things and that person, and I wish things could be different. 

Don't think anything can be done but to keep trekking on. :(