The weekend

By most accounts this weekend has been a good weekend. I went to a baseball game, had breakfast/lunch with friends, saw captain america, and spent the night with friends watching movies and enjoying good company. I also rode my bike several times. I had fun and felt mostly happy. 

Yet I feel sad and wish I could change what is causing me to feel this way. I feel like I am losing a friend. I am sitting right now listening to Conference and feeling worse. I find no comfort from the things that are being shared right now. I hate losing friends. It is the greatest source of pain I've experienced in my life, when the friend is someone I have grown close to and had hopes for. 

I know, time is the only remedy.  I think also how I feel about being alone is mixed in with how I feel about losing a friend...making it bigger, more acute. 

I'm so ready for a different life.