As most of my Sundays normally are, today has been a short day. I didn't do much and I'm off to bed early to wake up early for my morning job tomorrow. I did however go to dinner with some friends at a friend's house tonight. I almost didn't go. About an hour or so before dinner time I was talking myself out of going, but I'm glad I went. I got to meet some new people and get to know them better, and I felt better being around people than I would've felt I think by myself, in my room, looking at stuff on my phone 0_0
I think there is a trick to life. I don't think we get everything we want, everything we think that will make us the most happy we could be. I think the people out there who really are just super happy and love their life are people who have figured out this trick. I can't tell you what the trick is, cuz I don't know it. If I did I'd be happier and love my life. I haven't figured it out yet. Lately I've been trying to be more social, be more involved in my friends' lives, have things planned on weekends so I wasn't just cooped up in my room for 2 days til it was time to go to work again. I've been doing this because a lot of people have suggested that this would make me happier. And it has! But...I still have this feeling that there is something more that I need. It is not a want, it feels like a need. I need this something to feel whole. I've had the thought that maybe this is just as good as it gets and I have to learn how to live life not feeling like I'm complete, but still pretty happy here and there to most of the time. But then I think, no way! I've seen people who look like they are really happy and seem to very much feel complete and whole and like they've figured something out about living life. I have my ideas on what I think will make me feel whole, but so far I've not proven my ideas to be right. In fact they might be wrong, I'm not sure.
These have been my thoughts for awhile now. I wish I didn't feel like I was missing something. I wish I felt at peace. And if my ideas are wrong, I hope I figure out the right idea. I don't want to live life feeling like I need something but just have to do without. There's got to be a way, a trick, to feel whole and complete and happy and at peace.
No comments:
Post a Comment